Friday, May 12, 2006

Am I addicted to internet dating?

Dear Datingmonkey

I think I'm addicted to internet dating. I check my emails 20 times a day, and every time someone nice emails me, or wants to meet, I get really excited. Then, if we meet and there's no spark, I just feel disappointed. And the way I get over the disappointment is to start all over again.

It feels like I'm trapped in a vicious circle and I can't break free - so turning my back on it all seems to be the only answer.

What do you think?

Your friend,


My dear boy,

Come now. This all sounds very over-dramatic.

I suggest you think a little differently about internet dating. You are only getting in a tizz because you are confusing all these little emails and 'winks' and brief meetings in pubs and all the rest of it with an actual and real relationship.

Internet dating is - as I keep saying - merely a way of meeting people. It is also extremely entertaining. There is nothing wrong with checking your email a few times a day to see if you've got any emails. There is nothing wrong with checking out the talent on the line. There is nothing wrong with getting a little frisson of excitement when you come across a profile of someone who does not appear to be a mush-faced cockmonkey.

So keep calm, enjoy it, don't invest too much emotional energy in it and if you decide you want to stop doing it for a bit, then fine. I guarantee you'll be back within 2 months, having realised that anyone worth shagging is doing online dating, and spending evenings in ogling profiles rather than hanging out in pubs 'n' clubs.




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