Monday, April 24, 2006

It's only internet dating, but I like it, like it, yes I do.

Oh the joy. The pure, unadulterated joy of going through an inbox you haven't looked at for 3 weeks.

"But Datingmonkey! What's in your box?", I hear you cry. Now that, my friends, is my business. But my internet dating inbox is another thing altogether.

LOOK at the vaguely aggressive email from someone I wasn't aware I had ever corresponded with. "I have given you my number but you haven't phoned me so I have decided you aren't interested. Have a nice life." I say, he sounds cross.

SIGH at the grammatical excellence sewn into the very heart of "Hi!! U look fun, want to meet up for some chats??!" Of course I do, my dear!

WONDER at the fact that some people read your profile and think that you will have anything in common, when you are you, and they are them, and them is 59 and from Stoke on Trent

GASP at the number of people having 'family troubles' meaning they are "unable to meet up, even though I suggested it a few weeks ago" (Again, amnesia on my part: when did this exchange happen? Have I really been that drunk for this long? What is my name? Who am I? Where am I going? WHO ARE YOU? WHAT DO YOU WANT? GO AWAY)

LAUGH at the fact that the person you were seeing 'for a bit' (i.e. under 3 months) last year (who is quite nice really) is using a photograph you took of him when you were on holiday as his Main Profile Picture.

Oh, I could go on, but I won't. And why haven't I checked my inbox for weeks? Because I haven't.


Blogger * (asterisk) said...

Hi Datingmonkey. Thanks for stopping by and commenting at mine.

I like your blog, too. I've stopped by many times in the past, and I see no reason why that would change.

Unless, of course, you make a mean comment about men who wear masks in their profile pics. That could really finish things off. Or not.

8:32 AM  
Blogger Datingmonkey said...

If you were wearing a Donald Duck mask I think I'd like you more, but the one you've got seems ... nice.

Do stop by again. It's been nice having you. Really nice. I feel sort of ... warm. Yes, warm. That's it.

10:48 AM  
Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

I had a taxing experience with online dating, but then I don't know a lot of quality cats who participate in internet love.

I guess I should keep coming back for good dating advice!

8:41 PM  
Blogger Datingmonkey said...

My dear feline Friend,
Thank you for your kind message. Obviously I will go and read about your taxing message. Perhaps you would care to tell my readers a little about it too?
Your friend
DM x

8:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I must say i do enjoy your site. its a fresh breathe in the world of dating. thanks alot


9:23 PM  
Blogger Kukka-Maria said...

Dating Monkey, let's just say there aren't a lot of quality Tomcats on the internet. I even had a dog pretend to be a cat to try to gain access to my multiple nipples!

If you find some good Toms out there, please send them my way...

6:19 PM  
Blogger Datingmonkey said...

Dear Kukka-Maria
Sweet jesus! This is not the first time I have heard of this! My friend Anna emailed me from Glasgow the other day to tell me that one of her cats had tried to 'nurse' (erm) when she had her first baby. When I tell you that these animals are half Scottish wildcat and half Siamese, you will get some sense of the scale of the horror.
Your friend
PS and hey, thanks for the message x

10:58 PM  

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