Friday, May 19, 2006

TODAY'S SECOND QUESTION

Datingmonkey

Oh, it's all so
sweet, your advice, isn't it. Everything's so fucking nice in internet dating land when you're around, isn't it. What is it? Had some 'good luck' yourself? Is that it? I'm not impressed, as it goes. In your world, you assume that everyone's OK really, and that no bad shit happens. I've just this very night had some twat email me after 5 dates, the most recent of which was last night, telling me he really liked me but didn't think it was going to work out. Why did he bother seeing me so many times? What have I done wrong? Why does this have to be so fucking difficult?

Cheers

Jess, Hackney



Dearest Jess

Listen. I don't think everything's OK in the world, so I certainly don't think it's all OK in internet dating land. Being single is lonely, boring, tough, and much more difficult than being in a relationship with someone you like and who likes you. Yes, I've met someone recently, but that's not the point and it doesn't change the advice I'm going to give you now.

The first thing to say is at least this chap was honest. He saw you a few times and he decided that you weren't the right girl for him. It doesn't mean that you're not the right girl for someone else. It's always disappointing if you're single and meet someone who's interesting who you think's interested in you and it doesn't work out, not only because that particular relationship hasn't worked out, but because it's so utterly exhausting and annoying having to start again.

The second thing to say is leave it alone with this one, don't ask him why (my dear, the indignity! It's enough knowing that he's not interested - and no, you don't need 'closure', you spaz), and just, well, get online and find someone else to go on a date with. And if that doesn't work out, do it again. And keep going until you find someone you like.

But being bitter and angry ain't going to help. It ain't attractive. The whole dating malarkey is undignified and a bit shite, but it's also quite entertaining and all sorts of weird shit can happen. Don't expect too much from it, and that way you won't be disappointed when it doesn't give you exactly the thing you think you want.

And anyway, he was patently a retard if he didn't like you. Most chaps like a gal with a bit of spirit and by jiminy, you sound spunky.

Love

DM x

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