Friday, June 30, 2006

Phantom Internet Pregnancy

I met someone for a date once. He was weird. I deleted his phone number from my mobile. When he rang the other day, I didn't recognise the number. And I picked up.

J: Congratulations.
Me: What on?
J: You're pregnant, aren't you?
Me: No.
J: Yes you are.
Me: No I'm not.
J: But you sent me an email saying you were.
Me: No, I didn't, because I'm not.
J: I don't believe you.
Me: I'm not pregnant.
J: Well, I sent you an email saying hi and you replied saying you were pregnant.
Me: No, I didn't. The last time I spoke to you or emailed you was over 8 months ago.
J: Yes! It was then!
Me: What was?
J: When you told me you were pregnant. And I emailed back and you didn't reply and I thought you were angry with me.
Me: Why would I be angry with you?
J: For thinking you were pregnant.
Me: What?
J: Do you think someone's pulling a fast one on us?
Me: Sorry?
J: Do you think someone's taking the piss?
Me: Like who? We don't know anyone in common.
J: I thought you would have had it by now.
Me: Had WHAT?
J: The baby.
Me: The imaginary non-existent baby?
J: Yes, that one. I mean I reckon that if I emailed you over 8 months ago, you will have had it by now.
Me: Yes.
J: I was in your paper last week. Did you see it?
Me: No.
J: It was great.
Me: Oh.
J: Yes.
Me: I'm very busy. I can't talk at the moment. I have to go.

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