Summer Special: Internet Dating Profile Picture Clinic

When summer comes, thoughts turn to love. And what better way of finding it than a spot of light internet dating?

But it's not that easy to get it right when it comes to photographs. So, for this week only, I will be offering a free and objective point of view on your profile pictures. Do send them in.


Dear Datingmonkey

I'm looking for a classy guy. I think of myself as a classy lady, so I think this gives off the right signals. What do you think?

Thanks.

Jackie, Dunfermeline













Dear Jackie

No, sorry. Common. Like you charge for sex. And spend your earnings on Lambert & Butler and Bacardi Breezers. And what's with the eyeliner? Very '83.

Best wishes

DM


Dear DM

I think mystery is the thing that keeps relationships alive, so I thought I'd put up this 'mysterious' photograph, with the title 'Mysterious Lady'. I think it's a winning formula. What do you think?

Thanks ever so much.

Beverley, Swansea












Dear Bev

Did your neglectful mother get drunk one night in 1973, leaving you in the vicinity of an easily-accessible pan of boiling chip fat?

Best

DM



Dear Datingmonkey,

I'm thrilled to pieces with this super photograph - informal but smart, I thought, with the splash of colour from Mummy's tea cup. What do you think?

Yours ever,

Giles












Dear Giles

Thank you for your enquiry.

I suggest a more informal shot - an insouciant pose against a tree, with, perhaps, a pipe in hand? More importantly, however, your winsome smile suggests you are not 'au fait' with the workings of the ladyparts. If this is the case, can I suggest a tweed cap as an addition to your ensemble?

All the best, and do let me know how it goes,

DM


Dear Dating Monkey

I think this one gives off 'sassy and sexy'. What do you think?

Thanks.

Jo, Bexhill













Dear Jo

Very good effort!

All the best

DM