Monday, May 29, 2006

First Internet Date Uncovered

Historians at the University of the Easternmost Tip of England (formerly Tunbridge Wells Polytechnic) have uncovered evidence of the first internet date. Joe Last, now 49, was quick to relive memories of their pioneering technological first.

"It was 1977, and to be honest, we didn't really know what we were doing", said Joe this morning. "One minute I'm helping her with her Chemistry coursework; next minute she's asking me to touch her clogs with my hand. And all down to that little baby, the IBM AD2001 Lo-Tech Port-O-Ble. Still got it in the attic, as it goes - what do you reckon it would get on eBay?"

Veronica Lake, also 49 and pictured on the left of this photograph, refused to comment. "He kept sending me 'code'. I thought he was a bit dirty, really, but everyone was shagging everyone else so I thought, well, why not? I've told my daughters to stay away from the online, if I'm honest, although apparently it's good for car insurance."


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a towering genius, a bottomless well of perpetual inspiration to us all. Only you could have unearthed this photo.

I remember that date as if it were yesterday (Alzheimer's gets you like that). I was the old bloke (yes, even then) in the corner, sipping a pint of Toad's Piss (like Snakebite but with Southern Comfort). The Eagles were on the jukebox, which had somehow stuck on 'Hotel California' and I was savouring a humble Number 6 and reading about a promising colt called Arkle.

He couldn't keep his hands off her, not surprising since she had one of those skimpy Laura Ashley numbers. She did keep shifting away from him, and I'm not surprised. I could smell the Brut from the other side of the bar.

9:01 AM  

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